Tools for Reducing Anxiety

Whether you are struggling with general anxiety or acute anxiety attacks, try some of these tried and true tools for reducing anxiety:

1 – Take a deep breath and pause.  It is a cliché (they are cliché’s for a reason – they are universal truths), but taking a few deep breathes and counting to 10 will trigger your parasympathetic nervous system and automatically decrease the affects of anxiety in your body.

2 – Change your environment for a moment.  If you’re in your office and you can take a brief break, try taking a walk outside and get some fresh air, nature, and change of scenery.  If you’re behind your desk/computer, try to go to a break room or walk to a co-workers office to chat for a minute and remove yourself from the screen.

2b - If you are not able to physically change your environment, take a moment to close your eyes and visualize yourself somewhere you would really like to be, like the beach/ocean, forest, mountains.  Even a 30-second mindful visualization can reduce anxiety and make you feel somewhat rejuvenated. 

3 – Notice your thoughts in generally, but also about the anxiety in the moment, and ask yourself, “Is it true?”  Often we belief our thoughts outright, and many times these thoughts are not actually true.  Sometimes we catastrophize, or make things much bigger than they are at the moment, and we can often project out into the future much further than seems reasonable or remotely useful.  Just ask, “Is it true?”  (For more information, look at www.ByronKatie.com and her books)

4 – Notice if you’re comparing yourself to someone else or yourself at a different time.  If you are, is this fair to you?  Usually, when we compare, we lose and it isn’t a fair representation for us at all.  If your answer is yes, try to refrain from this kind of comparison because it creates more anxiety, and reframe your thought process to include more kindness and compassion toward yourself.

5 – Contact someone you love and trust.  Create a support system of people you can rely on to help you look at your situations more realistically and with empathy and compassion.  Do not reach out to anyone who makes you feel worse or with whom you compare yourself.

6 – Focus on things that you’re grateful for today and take your attention away from the negative.  What are some really small things that went well for you today?  Keep it small and simple.  Did you enjoy smelling something fragrant on your way to work?  Did you make it to work safely and without incident?  Did you enjoy a nice breakfast or lunch today?  Did you enjoy seeing the sunrise? 

7 – Drink something warm or wash your hands under warm water.  Warmth can activate your parasympathetic nervous system and engage a relaxation response.

8 – Put your hands on your heart and say something nice, sweet, calming to yourself (inwardly or aloud).  You can also pat yourself around the collarbone area to engage the parasympathetic nervous system and acupressure points that engage a relaxation response as well.

9 – Exercise on a regular basis.  This releases all the feel-good chemicals and can balance you out more to relieve anxiety.  Do not set expectations too high; do what will work well for you (no comparisons).

10 – Watch less television, especially the news.  News triggers anxiety for many people and it can be beneficial to limit your exposure to the news.  Television in general can trigger and increase anxiety as a whole, so try to get out and live your life more fully and less vicariously through characters on TV.  TV is not the enemy and can be relaxing in moderation, but can be experienced as anxiety-provoking for some especially in large doses. 

Kimberly Atwood is a psychotherapist in private practice with offices in Doylestown, Pennsylvania and Midtown Manhattan, NYC. She specializes in working with people in their 20’s and 30’s dealing with eating disorders, intimacy issues, and related anxiety.  For more, please visit Kim’s ‘Finding Your Voice’ Blog.

New Year New You - Part II

 Let's continue to talk about ways to feel better in 2015:

3. Be grateful.  Start focusing on the positive more than the negative.  As human beings, we are naturally more focused on the negative because this is a big part of what keeps us alive.  Our brains are wired and programmed to find the negative and try to fix it.  Being aware that this is a main job of our brain helps us take notice of it more and more each day. 

It takes a bit of effort to focus more attention on the positive and try not to let it all just slip through our fingers like water.  Do your best each day to hold onto the positive aspects of your life and shine a ray of light on each and every one of them.  One way to start this is to write a gratitude journal – write down 5 things each day that brought you joy or made you thankful.  They can be simple and mundane occurrences throughout your day.

4. Eliminate sugary drinks.  I am not asking you to eliminate sugar altogether, just sugary drinks because they are the most influential on your insulin production and demanding on your pancreas.  In other words, sugary drinks seem to be a leading cause of obesity and diabetes.  These drinks include anything with sugar in the ingredient list, like sodas, sports drinks, and fruit juices. 

Try not to switch to diet drinks because studies have shown that the fake sugars tend to make you desire more sweets in your daily intake.  Try it for yourself and notice if you crave more sugary items when drinking diet drinks – I did.  These fake sugars also seem to confuse the body because they are not natural. 

Again, similar to cutting back on caffeine, you may not want to eliminate sugary drinks all at once.  You may be more successful cutting back to having one soda a few days per week, rather than a soda everyday.  Then, drink only one soda per week and so forth.  Try to make your goals attainable so you are successful.

5. Drink Water.  Many people drink sugary drinks as if it is water, but it is not water.  Drink more good-old-fashioned H2O for hydration.  Increasing your consumption of water will likely increase your energy level and your metabolism.  Try it out and notice if you feel differently after a week or so.

If you are aiming to lose weight, this is also an excellent way to aid in weight loss.  When we binge or emotionally eat, we are often just thirsty and in need of hydration.  If you can slow down and drink a glass of water before reaching for that bag of chips or cookies, you might realize you do not want food at all and are satisfied with the water. 

Many of the ideas for this 'New Year, New You' segment were stimulated by reading John Ratey and Richard Manning's new book entitled, "Go Wild: Free Your Body and Mind From the Afflictions of Civilization."  If you are up for a good read during these cold winter months, I recommend highly recommend this one.

Kimberly Atwood is a psychotherapist in private practice in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. She specializes in working primarily with women in their 20’s and 30’s dealing with eating disorders, sexual and relationship issues, anxiety, life transitions and personal growth.  Visit my 'Finding Your Voice' blog at https://kimberlyatwood.wordpress.com/2015/01/08/new-year-new-your-part-ii/

Tips to Having a Happy Thanksgiving 2014

Well, the holidays have snuck up on us again this year. Thanksgiving is already upon us and we are getting stressed out! Here are a few tips to decrease your stress around this holiday:

Use this time of year to begin (or restart) a gratitude journal. Focus on the positive aspects of each day, rather than the negative. After all, it is THANKS-giving, isn’t it? Let this be a new beginning for you and approach the holiday with a newfound joy and gratitude for all you have in life.

Do not think too far ahead. Stay as present as possible and try not to think too far in advance about Thanksgiving dinner or the upcoming holiday season. Stick with one thing at a time (as much as possible). For example, if you are creating a menu, focus only on creating the menu and do not over think the upcoming shopping trip.

Ask for help. Women tend to want to show their love around the holidays by doing it all, and doing it all by themselves. Try something new this year and try asking for help. Get others involved more and take some of the burden off yourself so you can actually enjoy the holiday too. Asking for help is an act of strength, not weakness. Getting others involved makes them feel useful and a part of the festivities.  I guarantee that people are not thinking that you should be able to do it all alone – that is only in your mind. Just try it out this year as something new, and I bet you’ll be surprised.

Breathe and connect to your body whenever you remember. Taking the time to refresh yourself and take a breather will clear your mind and help you more productive in the long run. Remember to take micro-breaks throughout the holiday season.

Try to enjoy yourself this year and don’t get bogged down in the stress. Good luck!

Kimberly Atwood is a psychotherapist in private practice in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. She specializes in working with men and women in their late teens, 20’s and 30’s dealing with eating disorders, sexual and relationship issues, anxiety, life transitions and personal growth.  Please visit her blog, "Finding Your Voice" at http://wp.me/p2H9sB-1f

Secrets To A Happy Long-Term Relationship - Part II

Indulge yourself.  This may seem counterintuitive, but it works. Generally, we help care for one another in relationships, but this only truly works well when you are also continuing to care for and about yourself. Take the time to do something for you and only you at least once a week (I’d prefer once daily, but this may seem like a giant goal for some).  This does not have to be something expensive or timely.  It is just about mindfully spending time and energy on you - the most important person in your life.

Sometimes we relate self-indulgence with selfishness, but this is another misconception.  Taking the time to make yourself happy by taking a walk, going to the gym, or listening to your favorite music, ultimately makes you better at everything you do.  It will ultimately make you a better mom/dad, co-worker, boss, friend and partner because you are calmer and more present with others.  Self-sacrificing will eventually lead to low energy, burnout, fatigue, and negative moods.  Try adding more self-indulgence into your day/week/year and notice how it benefits your relationship.

Secrets To A Happy Long-Term Relationship - Part I

There are a few things that stand out when it comes to having a happy long-term relationship.  This is the first of a series about secrets to a happy long-term relationship.

One way to remain happy together is to be separate too.  Having time and interests to yourself mean that you are autonomous and a separate individual in the relationship.  Healthy, positive relationships are a coming together of two full people, not a merging a two half-people making a whole.  This is a myth – period.

Generally, couples struggle when it comes to finding the balance between togetherness and separateness. When couples are experiencing trouble in their relationship, they often try to spend more time together and become inseparable.  This is a common, but ineffective, solution.  Of course you will continue to spend quality time together as a couple, but it does not need to be every waking moment – it is all about balance.  Studies show that desire for one’s partner comes when there is some distance and space.  So go out and enjoy your own hobbies!

Watch this video for more infomation:  http://on.ted.com/Perel 

Kimberly Atwood is a psychotherapist in private practice in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. She specializes in working with women and men in their late teens, 20’s and 30’s dealing with eating disorders, sexual and relationship issues, anxiety, life transitions and personal growth.  Please visit www.Kimberlyatwood.com for more information.